


Transitioning

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: FTM Dave, Gen, Humanstuck, MTF Eridan, Maybe - Freeform, but we'll get to that later, everyones messed up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-05-20 04:24:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5991619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan never felt right in his body. He knows his dad won't let him change it, so what is he supposed to do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

****Eridan looked in the mirror. The skirt that fit so well, the tube top that didn't cover his stomach, his hair, that he let grow out for years, now in pig tails, looked so wrong, especially because of what he had been taught, but it felt so.. so... so right. He smiled at his reflection, the clothes fit so well, perfect for his size, but one thing bothered him. He looked down and frowned, he could change his clothes, his personality, everything, except that small piece of flesh used for the male side of reproduction.

"Eridan!" his father's loud voice rang through the halls of the house, startling Eridan,"we need to leave! I'm not letting this deal go!"

He jumped, trying to change as quickly as he could, moving to the bathroom to fix his hair back to it's wavy glory, "Coming!" he yelled practically sprinting down the stairs, where his father waited, a cigarrette in his mouth, lit, unlike the one Cronus had, which remained unlit. Cronus, his brother, was a wannabee '50s greaser, who tried to make music. Emphasis on tried. The three got into a car, an old Model T, that his father couldn't let go of, despite it's awful milage and deteriorating paint job. Eridan was in the back, next to the guns. Which were necessary for his father's work, seeing as he was a hitman, something Eridan dreamed of being. That caused problems that time he had to write a paper on what he wanted to be when he grew up. The teacher was not happy, and neither was the administration.

The entire ride through, Eridan's father talked about how no one could know, don't blow cover, blah, blah, blah. After the first five minutes, hell probably not even that, Eridan started thinking about how right the skirt felt, how pretty he was in the mirror. He gave a small smile, he never felt right until that dare where Vriska made him wear a skirt (he still has it, not that he'd admit it). He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't notice they arrived. At the Peixes household, no less. It gave him some... interesting memories. Feferi, the youngest daughter, was his best friend, and old crush. Then she got a boyfriend, totally cut him off, and the rest is history. Painful, painful, history. And Kanaya still won't talk to him. That little bitch.

"Yo, ma, the old man is here, and the shit brought his kids!" Meenah called, looking at the old car, scowling when its owners came out.

"Shut the shell up!" her mother yelled back, "I gotta hangover!"

Unbeknownest to them, the "old man" and his kids heard this exchange, and Eridan's father pulled out a cigarette, mumbling something about how this better be worth it.

The door to the mansion opened, revealing a smiling empress of a baking empire, "Welcome, Dualscar, and you brought your kids."

"Couldn't leave 'em at the house," was Dualscar's simple reply.

"I'll have Meenah take care of them. We can get down to business whale they talk."

Meenah, who had heard her mother, led the younger Amporas upstairs, "Fef's gone, but you can use her room," she said, leaving Eridan to enter the room, "Cronus, you betta not do anyfin fishy. I would happily krill you."

"Vwhatevwer you say, babe," Cronus said, unlit cigarette still between his lips.

"Don't call me that," Meenah said, her back to Cronus, who had a sly smirk. Eridan rolled his eyes, the guy would get himself killed one day because of what he did.

_Later..._

Eridan heard a scream. He was pretty sure it came from Cronus, "I tried to wwarn you," he muttered. He looked back in the mirror, one of Feferi's dresses hung loosely on his body. She was bigger than he was, but that didn't stop him from trying it on. It looked good, and he smiled, even though it didn't fit him right. He looked down and frowned, that piece of flesh was still there, and he couldn't do anything about it. That's when he noticed tears were running down his face. He was cursed with this body he despised, and there was nothing he could do about it. He quickly wiped his face, taking off the dress and changing back into his clothes. He didn't know how long his dad's meeting would be, and he didn't want to be caught in a dress, his dad would disown him. Literally, he had warned them after he found out about Dave. Wait, Dave! Eridan pulled out his phone, quickly scrolling to Dave's contact, which he noticed he hadn't changed. He could do it later, he decided as he called.

"Davve can I talk to you?"


	2. Chapter 2

Eridan took a deep breath as he entered The Mother's Grub, a restaurant owned and operated by Kanaya and her family. He saw Dave waiting for him at a table, Karkat sitting beside him.

"I thought it wwould be just the two of us," Eridan said, glancing nervously at Karkat.

"Sorry, dude, he won't leave me alone with you after what happened last time," Dave said, sipping on what was probably apple juice.

Karkat scowled, "I just don't want fuckers like him flinging themselves on your body without _my_ consent," he glared at Eridan.

"What about _my_ consent?" Dave asked, his expression not changing despite the implications of the statement.

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Whatever, asshole. You know what I fucking meant, dick muncher."

Dave smirked, "What does that make you, _Karkles_?"

"NEVER CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" Karkat screamed, drawing everyone's attention on him, before blushing and muttering apologies.

Eridan cleared his throat, again alerting the pair of his presence, "I need some advvice," he took a deep breath, nervous about saying it, although he knew the pair wouldn't judge him or anything like that, "I think I'm a girl... but in a guy's body."

Dave nodded, "Kay, that's how I felt before I transitioned. Now, what do you need advice about?"

Karkat, on the other hand, sat with his mouth agape for a second, "No wonder you looked so happy that March!" he said, referring to that time when Vriska forced him to wear a skirt.

Eridan nodded, "Yeah, I guess I wwas really happy that month. Anywway, I guess I wwanna knoww howw to come out," he shifted in his seat as though uncomfortable, "I don't knoww wwhat my dad wwould think."

Dave nodded again, "That's normal, I didn't think my Bro would approve either, but he ended up helping me through it. Honestly, I think it was good you could tell us, even though I've been through a similar situation. The best advice I could give is not to be discouraged when not everyone accepts your decision."

Eridan gave a small smile, "Thanks, Davve, I appreciate the help."

Karkat glared at Eridan, "Are you trying to make a move, seaweed sucker? I will rip your fucking balls off if you try anything again," he then stood up and pulled Dave out of the booth they were sitting in, Dave waving a goodbye as he was dragged away by the smaller albino boy.

Eridan sighed, Karkat was the same as always, he ordered a drink, a strawberry milkshake to be precise, and left the cafe, walking home when he noticed a dress shop. The dresses in the window were stunning, and one of them, a rich purple one accented with green highlights and a bow the same green called to him. He had to at least try it on and come to think of it he did have some money on him... He entered the shop.

"Oh, hello!" The employee said, wearing a chipper smile, "are you getting a dress for your girlfriend?"

The words were like a punch in the gut for Eridan, he was still male, but he nodded anyway, hoping to at least get a closer look at the beautiful dress.

"If you need anything, just give me a call!" The employee said, moving to another customer.

Eridan looked around, trying to find where the dress was. He smiled when he found it, and ran his hand over the smooth fabric. He looked at the size, hoping to find one that fit, when he realized he had no idea what dress sizes were. The smallest size was 2 which confused him. What did that mean? Why not just go by waist and shoulder size like men's clothes? He then facepalmed, realizing that women were much more curvy than men. He grabbed a size he thought would fit and went to the changing room, glancing around to make sure no one saw him. He changed, and looked at himself in the mirror. He smiled at what he saw, the dress was big around the chest, which he expected, but not by much, and the rest of it covered him nicely, going down to the floor. His expression quickly changed to horror when he realized he was in a public place. Someone could have seen him and no one could find out. Oh god, his dad _definitely_ couldn't find out. He would be disowned and, oh god, he had to get out. He quickly changed, practically running out the door, after returning the dress to its proper place.

When he got home, he locked the door to his room, tears streaming down his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go! The not-so-long awaited second chapter. There are only seven chapters to cross post, in all I mean. That includes this one and the previous one!  
> Please enjoy


	3. Chapter 3

Eridan sighed, it had been a month since he told Dave, and by extension, Karkat, about his problem. Ever since, he had gone to the dress shop almost daily, and he was pretty sure the girl who worked there was getting suspicious because he never bought anything. Not to mention, she had seen him go into the dressing room on more than one occasion. That was where he was now, sitting in a dressing room, a light green dress hanging up, instead of the purple he usually preferred, with only his pants on. He ran his fingers through his hair, messing his wavy hair up. He felt like crying, but stopped himself, he really didn't want anyone to hear his hard sobs, especially in such a public place. He definitely wasn't prepared for the door opening, looking to see the same worker, who, in response to the wet tears he was sure we're running down his face, hugged him. Eridan had never been more shocked, especially because he was sure he would take it the wrong way.

"I'm Jade," she said, breaking off the hug and giving him her usual cheerful smile, "it's nice to meet you."

"Uh," Eridan sat, stunned for a moment, before regaining his usual composure, "I'm Eridan, it's nice to meet you too."

"You're transsexual, aren't you?" Jade asked, further surprising Eridan, "you never buy anything, so I had my suspicions."

Eridan nodded, "I- yeah, I am. Or maybe wwant to be is a better wway of putting it."

Jade frowned, "You haven't told anyone yet?"

Eridan frowned, "I did tell someone, but otherwwise no. I'm sure my dad wwould hate it if I did," he sighed and put his shirt and glasses back on.

Jade's face crumpled into one of worry, "Maybe you should get a dress and find out. I'll even give you a discount," she winked at him.

Eridan gave a small smile, "Thanks, but no," he cringed internally at the thought. He knew his dad would freak out and suspected that Cronus would start hitting on him. Again. The older boy's desperation was just plain creepy. Eridan got up and left, shouldering past Jade, who was slightly surprised.

"Wait! Here," Jade gave him a slip of paper, not looking at her, and walked home.

_One week later..._

Eridan was happy. He had a friend, one who listened to him. Not that his other friends didn't, but it wasn't the same, he liked her, and she liked him, unlike the air of tolerance that seemed to float near his other friends when he was around. Although, his relationship with Dave had improved, but he didn't think that was unusual. Karkat talked to him more, like they used to, but he was still wary of Eridan, not that that was a surprise.

"I dunno, Jade, seems kinda wweird," he said, munching nervously on a French frie.

"Come on! You like her don't you? Why not just tell her!" Jade sighed, wondering why it was as hard as it was.

"You don't understand! She has a boyfriend. And a girlfriend for that matter," Eridan sighed, plus she hasn't talked to me in years, he thought.

Jade's eyes widened, "Wait, she's two-timing?!"

"Wwhat? No! They're in a polyamorous relationship! I'm surprised you don't knoww about it!"

"I'm homeschooled, Eridan, I don't know many people."

"Still, I thought everyone kneww. She's the heiress of a baking empire. Wwell, one of them, anywway."

"My cousin, Jane, is one of the heiresses of the Betty Crocker company, I didn't know any other company had more then one heir!"

"Wwait, Jane's the other heiress? I'm friends wwith Roxy! She nevver mentioned that!"

Jade giggled, "Small world, isn't it?"

Eridan chuckled, "Yeah, I guess it is," he sighed, "I wwonder wwhat Rox is up to noww, we havven't talked much since she left for college."

"Why not?" Jade asked, mildly surprised. Jane would bring Roxy over sometimes, and she complained about how many friends she lost when she left high school.

"I dunno, you think I should?" Eridan asked.

Jade smiled, "Yeah! I'm sure she'd be glad to hear from you!" Jade's expression changed to one of realization, "hey! We're getting off topic!"

Eridan chuckled, "Oh no! I'vve been found out!"

Jade smiled and chucked one of her fries at him, "You really should-"

Kanaya came over, "Would you like your check, ma'am?" she asked Jade, totally ignoring Eridan, which annoyed him, and made him feel bad simultaneously.

"Sure," Jade smiled, "I'll leave a good tip, too. Rose told me all about your date tonight."

Kanaya blushed, "I- well, thank you, here," she left the check on the table, turning and going to check on another table.

"So, what happened between you two? Kanaya's usually more polite than that."

"Long story," Eridan said, glancing toward Kanaya, "thanks for coming Jade, I had a good time," he said, getting up and leaving. As he walked home, he thought back to that time. The incident with Feferi, Sollux, and Kanaya, the one Karkat saw. That was why everyone was no nervous around him, but how was he supposed to fix that mistake?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... Slowly trying to catch up... I'm so tired...


	4. Chapter 4

Eridan sighed, lifting his head from his desk, it had taken some goading, but Jade convinced him to buy a dress. Earlier, he had resolved himself to go and tell Feferi about him being transsexual, but gradually his resolve had weakened. He could easily go out in the dress, his dad was at work and Cronus was. . . Actually he had no idea where Cronus was. Maybe in the hospital or something, like the creep deserved. But, knowing Eridan and his bad luck with hope, Cronus definitely was not there. He sighed, putting on the dress. It was a simple white dress that went to his knees, but was covered in a nice purple lace, a purple bow wrapped under the breast. He smiled, it was so comfortable, it felt so good, so _right_. He put his hair in a braid, albeit a short one, the purple streak in hair framing his face. He could do this, he would go see Feferi, apologize, and maybe be friends again. This time not admitting his crush on her because that went so well the first time. He scowled, this was no time for mental sarcasm! He had to go and tell Feferi about his change of heart.

Eridan stood in front of the door to the Peixes household. All of his former resolve was gone, and he stood, in front of the door, regretting his decision to come. He was about to leave when the door opened.

"Come on Aradia! It's just-" Feferi stopped when she saw Eridan.

"H-hi Fef," Eridan muttered, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"Water you doing here?" Aradia asked, smiling when Feferi giggled.

"I, I wwanna apologize. For wwhat happened all those years ago," he said, nervously looking down.

"Like she'll I'd forgive you," Feferi said, practically glaring at him, "water you efin wearing?"

"I, uh, I'm a trans girl. I wwanted to tell you, along wwith apologizing, I mean."

"You reelly think, that's gonna change my mind?" Feferi said, angrily.

Aradia put her hand on the other girl's shoulder, "Feferi, he seems genuine, I don't know what he did, but can't you forgive him?" Eridan shot Aradia a thankful smile, who winked back at him, "but if you can't I'll help you krill him," Aradia smiled widely and Eridan grimaced.

"Reelly? You're the best gillfriend ever!" Feferi smiled, kissing Aradia. Eridan, meanwhile, backed away, running back towards his house. "Eridan wait!" Feferi called after him.

"I'm not gonna die today!" He yelled back. He regretted going before, but now he wished Jade never got the idea in the first place.

Feferi sighed, "He never learns."

Aradia shrugged, "Well, let's not keep Sollux waiting. It's gonna take a while to get there."

* * *

 

Eridan sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

 _fef almost killed me_ , he typed.

 _haha! sounds like a lotta fun :)_ , Jade texted back.

Eridan sighed, _no! noww i wwanna return the dress._

_no! X( i worked hard for that!_

Eridan laughed, _ok i wwont_

_now you should text her!_

_wwhat? she blocked me years ago_

_well try now_

Eridan sighed, if only it was that simple.

* * *

 

School. The day for it to return was coming. Honestly, Eridan dreaded it. He knew people talked about him behind his back. He fought Sollux on the school grounds, after all. Eridan sighed, maybe he shouldn't have told Feferi (and Aradia) about his. . . yeah, that was definitely a bad idea, especially the day before school. How had Jade convinced him to do that, again? Now, the bigger question: what would he wear to school? He could wear a skirt, thereby coming out to everyone. That was a dangerous game, since Cronus, or worse, his dad could see. He heard his phone vibrate on the nightstand.

_good luck at school!_

Eridan smiled, he could always count on Jade to be there for him.

_oh yeah im transferring to your school so ill see you soon!_

Eridan sighed, that was it he was a goner. He went for his usual pants, anyway, hoping Jade would respect his wishes (which she probably would). He left, or tried to, however, Cronus was his ride so he had to wait for that greaser wannabe to get finished getting ready. Eridan would swear Cronus took longer than everyone else he knew combined, but he didn't know how long it took anyone else to get ready. It was a safe bet, as far as he was concerned.

"Cronus! Get your ass down here!" Dualscar yelled. Eridan smiled, his dad could get shit done, "Eridan! You too!" Oh, shit.

The two obeyed, finding their father downstairs, smoking a cigarette, "Don't get in trouble, we don't need any attention from anyone, especially the lawyers daughters," the two nodded, knowing what he meant, "and also," Dualscar took a drag from his cigarette, "good luck out there."

"That vwas vwierd," Cronus muttered. For once, the brothers agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go. Another chapter, another day in the life of our poor Eridan


	5. Chapter 5

Eridan sighed as he entered his room. Sure, the day had gone well enough, key word being enough. First period, AP Chemistry, was one he shared with Jade. He had explained the situation to her, and, although she was confused, she handled it pretty well. She had only used "she, her" pronouns once in public. Second period, History, Eridan's favorite subject, had started with him and Sollux flipping each other off, but was otherwise silent because they were on opposite sides of the room. Lunch was. . . interesting. He sat with Jade who was already friends with a lot of his "friends." The situation got awkward when Kanaya and Rose joined, and got worse when someone mentioned the past relationship between Jade and Karkat. It didn't get better. Fourth period, English II, he shared with Feferi, who whispered fag as she passed him. He fought the urge to correct her, fag is a slur for homosexuals, tranny would be a much better insult. However, that would have earned him a lot of strange looks a) because Feferi was basically a princess at the school, having Meenah as an older sister and b) who the hell corrects someone when they're being insulted? In Eridan's mind it was acceptable, after all, if you're going to insult someone you might as well do it right! Fifth period was Algebra 2, aka hell. Not only was teacher awful, he was not the best at math. Sixth period offered some relief, with it being his elective, Choir. He shared the class with Karkat, John (who he had met at lunch), and, surprisingly, Aradia. Who apparently could sing. Really well. Seventh period, the final period, was P.E. which was something he was actually good at. Despite the day going off with few hitches, it was stressful as fuck. Probably because he hadn't seen anyone in months, with a few exceptions, of course.

Eridan opened the closet and smiled, Jade had given him a new dress. Honestly, that girl was too sweet for her own good. Then he remembered that time that drunk guy they saw one night, and how Jade promptly kicked his ass. That was fun. Also kind of terrifying. He quickly changed, this new dress was a sun dress, perfect for the season. The bright yellow, blue, red, and purple flowers adorning it contrasted beautifully with the dark green ribbon that wrapped the bottom. He smiled, it was so great, now if only he could cut that thing off. Preferably, in a way that wouldn't be absolute pain. He frowned slightly, yes, if only. He sighed, put headphones on, and started on homework. His dad wouldn't be home for hours, Cronus was God knows where, and he could relax in a dress without worry.

If only life went as we wanted. Not even an hour later, Dualscar had returned, which Eridan would have heard, had he not had his headphones on.

"Son!" Dualscar called, removing blood-stained gloves and tossing them into the burning fireplace. He scowled, "Boy!" He knew that Eridan was home, sad fact was he had no friends, and he knew school was out. He checked. He was trying to be a better father, he didn't want Eridan to end up like him, or worse, Cronus. He was probably fifteen years too late, but the thought never really occurred to him. "I'm talking to you!" He called again, before deciding it would be best to actually go into the kids room. After a few minutes of looking for it (in hindsight, he should've gotten a smaller house), he opened the door.

"Dad!" Eridan shot up, pulling the headphones off, shock written on his face.

Dualscar's expression changed from surprise to disgust, "What are you wearing!" He got a cigarette out, scowling, "get out."

"But dad-"

"Get out of my house!" Dualscar shouted.

Eridan tried to fight the tears pricking his eyes, "Dad, please-"

"Get the fuck out." Dualscar growled, pulling one the guns he had on him, shocking both him and Eridan. He put it away, and exited the room. "Just get out," he muttered, cigarette smoke wafting into the room as he left.

Eridan couldn't stop the tears as he packed his stuff. He had taken off the dress and stared at it, anger flaring. He grabbed the dress and tore it, crumpling the fabric in his hands, as if it would heal his pain. He crumpled to the ground, fabric in his fists, knuckles turning white, as sobs wracked his body. His dad said to leave, and that's exactly what he would do, even if he had nowhere to go. He steeled himself for a second, throwing the torn fabric to the ground, sighing. It just wasn't fair! People like Feferi live perfect lives and here he was, thrown out of his house. He left, slamming the door to make sure his father got the message, suitcase thumping as he went down the stairs, nowhere left to hide.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm so flaky about updating... Sorry for the wait but here's another chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

Eridan stood in front of the restaurant/house of the Maryams. Honestly, he wasn't sure why he went there, of all places. It was pretty instinctive, it was what he did when he was younger, when he and Kanaya were friends. He didn't try to ring the doorbell or knock or anything, he just stood, not knowing what to do. Why did he come here, of all places? It was the dead of night, the place was closed. There was a light on, upstairs, despite it being somewhere around midnight. He sighed, maybe he'd wait until morning or, better yet, find someplace else entirely. But it wasn't like anyone would take in some freak like him, nor did he really have any friends to room with. Well, he had Jade, but he had no idea where she lived so that was out. He knew Kanaya's mom would take pretty much anyone, take care of them as her own. Hell, she did that with Karkat's dad! Now, that guy was a freak, where the hell did he even get his ideals? (Eridan was certain the Dolorosa didn't put all that in his head.)

The door opened. That was unexpected because Eridan hadn't knocked or made any noise he was aware of. The person who opened it was, of course - with Eridan's luck - Kanaya. She slammed the door in his face. His frown deepened. Of course going to the house of his ex-best friend/person he accidentally shot was a bad idea! (Don't give a ten year-old a gun. It doesn't end well.) He was about to give up and just leave when the door opened again.

"Come in, child," the Dolorosa said, "you have much going on in your life, I can tell."

Eridan stood, an awestruck expression on his face, "Wwhat? Er, thank you."

"It is a pleasure to help any injured soul," she said.

"Uh, wwhat?" Eridan muttered, whoever this person was, that wasn't the same person he knew as Kanaya's mom. Wait, that was her sister. The two looked similar, although the actual Dolorosa had short hair like her second daughter.

"Come in, you may stay with Kanaya tonight," Dolorosa gestured for him to come inside. Which he did, "I will leave you with Kanaya."

Kanaya led him to her room, "Your staying with me does not make us friends," Kanaya coldly told Eridan.

"I'm sorry Kan, I really didn't mean to," Eridan said, desperate for forgiveness.

"Tell that to the hole in my stomach," Kanaya replied, sharp enough to make him wince.

Kanaya's room was messier than he remembered, but fabric was still strewn around the room. Her bed had a home made canopy, probably from back when she was first learning to sew. Eridan smiled slightly, the memories he made in this room. Kanaya had given him his first cape. He frowned, remembering his current situation. Kanaya made him a make shift bed, "Hopefully, you'll be out of here by morning," Kanaya said.

Eridan sat, silent. He'd talk to Jade about letting him stay, but odds were the answer would be no. It couldn't be too bad, rooming with Kanaya. "Hopefully," he muttered, an edge to his voice. He realized Kanaya was giving him a suspicious look, "Wwhat?" He snapped.

Kanaya raised her brow further up, "I am simply wondering why you are wearing a dress. Especially one that doesn't compliment your complexion."

Eridan sighed, this would be a long night. And his stay would be even longer.

"We will remedy that soon," Kanaya said, turning off the light, "good night, Eridan. Don't be here in the morning."

Eridan frowned deeply, yep, a very long stay.


	7. Chapter 7

Eridan left the Maryam household before anyone woke up. He didn't go to school that day. He didn't know if anyone missed him, his phone was dead, no one had a way to contact him, he didn't have a way to contact anybody. He ended up walking aimlessly around town, though he made it a point to avoid the places he would normally frequent. He quickly ended up in the woods outside of town, traveling on a, now overgrown, path by memory. He gave a sad smile. How many times had he traveled it? First with Feferi, next with Karkat, until everything went to hell at that one summer camp.

"Eridan?"

Eridan turned around, coming face to face with Karkat, "Kar? Wwhat are you doing here?"

Karkat avoided the question, instead going to the bridge, Eridan trailing behind, "We used to come here together."

"Yeah," Eridan muttered.

"What happened?"

Eridan avoided looking at Karkat, "I did some bad things."

Karkat scowled, "So did Vriska but people still like her. Why would anyone like that goddamn spiderbitch?"

Eridan shrugged, and they reached a gap in conversation.

"You weren't at school. Jade was worried," Karkat said.

"Wwas she?" Eridan said absentminded.

Karkat glared at him, "Yes, you idiot! She cares about you, you ignorant fishmonger! I don't know what stupid things you've done, but she cares!" he paused, "I care," he muttered.

"Wwhy, Kar? You said it yourself. I'vve done stupid things. Do I actually deservve it?"

d"Maybe not. Does it matter?" Karkat grabbed Eridan, "people care. Do you know how fucking lucky you are,? No one cares about me. No one cares about Dave. Fuck, no one even cares about John fucking Egbert, 'esteemed leader' my ass."

"I don't knoww, Kar, but to be frank, I care about you and you sare about Davve, and John has plenty of people who care about him. Vvris does, Jade does, Davve does." Eridan shrugged.

Katkat rolled his eyes, "The point, genius, is that we're alone. Who gives a shit whether we live or not?" Karkat sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

"No one," Eridan muttered.

"That's right, no one! No one on this shitty earth gives a flying fuck what happens to us! All we can do is take care of each other! And look where that's got us! Gamzee's in jail for murder, Aradia attempted suicide, Rose is an aclcoholic, and Tavros can't walk! Here you are, skipping school because of some bitch who has a hole in her won't forgive you! We're all fucked up! Life's fucked up! Who gives a fuck!"

"Wwhat happened to us?" Eridan asked.

"We fucked up, that's what. We played a stupid game that we shouldn't have played. Now what? Do we just keep acting like it never happened? Guess what, it did! We messed up! So does everyone. We mess up, we grow, we learn! That's what humans do! Maybe, if, instead of ignoring everything, we aftually faced it, we wouldn't be so messed up!" Karkat yelled.

"Wwhy don't wwe?"

"Because we're a bunch of dumbasses."

"Wwell, hasn't Aradia faced it? She's doing wwell."

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Aradia's doing well because her family is competent."

"So is John's, but isn't faring too wwell."

"You don't know him that well, he's been doing fine. So is Rose."

Eridan glanced at him, perplexed, "You just said they wwere all doing badly."

Karkat scowled, "We are all doing shit badly," Karkat paused, "don't you live in constant fear that things won't get any better? They seem fine, but are they really? I don't want them to turn out like me," Karkat muttered.

"Kar, you're not as bad as you think," Eridan said, trying to comfort Karkat, only to be pushed away.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity," Karkat scoffed.

Eridan frowned, "You need something, and I don't knoww wwhat it is."

"Ha! That's rich, coming from you."

"Maybe it is, maybe wwe should let things stay like this, maybe wwe shouldn't, maybe wwe'll nevver get any better, maybe wwe wwill. I don't knoww, Kar, I just don't knoww," Eridan said, "I think wwe should at least try to get better."

"You're saying that? You? I never thought I'd see the day."

"You said it yourself. People change. Maybe it's time for us to."

Karkat was silent, brows furrowed, deep in thought, "Maybe it finally is."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear, I'm very late with this...  
> You know what, my tumblr is that-one-fan-person so come scream to me about updating more  
> Let's hope I actually do...


	8. Chapter 8

Eridan sighed, changing was good and all, but first he should find a place to stay. Maybe he could see if Jade had some room. 

Karkat stared awkwardly at the ground beneath him, "I guess, if you're serious about this whole fucking changing spiel, I'll forgive you."

"For wwhat?"

"For hitting on my fucking boyfriend, you overgrown seaweed munching shitstain!"

"That wwas _one_ time! And I didn't evven knoww!" _Seaweed munching shitstain..._ He'd have to remember that one.

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Whatever, now come on," he got up.

Eridan looked at him, confused, "Wwhat?"

"We're going to my house. You still need a place to stay, right?"

Eridan's brow furrowed, "Yeah, but wwhy are you. . . doing this for me?"

Karkat rolled his eyes, "Because we're friends, asshole. Not that I fucking know why."

Eridan got up and hugged the smaller boy, "Thanks, Kar."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Karkat blushed, but accepted the hug. After a moment, Eridan let go, blushing, too. 

"Wwhy are you blushing?"

Karkat scowled, "Why are you?"

"I asked first."

"Well, I asked second."

Eridan rolled his eyes, "Really, Kar?"

Karkat's blush deepened, "I'm out of fucking practice, asswipe!"

Eridan chuckled, "It's been a wwhile sibce wwe'vve argued like this."

"Yeah, I guess it has. . . I've missed you, you fish fucking asshat."

Eridan smiled longingly, "I've missed you, too."

"Now, come on, we'll be late for dinner, and my mom hates that," Karkat started back up the path.

Eridan followed him, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... It's been a while hasn't it? Hehe... I've been... distracted by stuff. And then I had writers block for a little bit and, now, here we are! Is this chapter shorter than usual? Sorry, but hopefully I'll start updating more frequently? I'm kinda unreliable though... But like yell at me to update at my tumblr that-one-fan-person
> 
> I might change my url soon though...

**Author's Note:**

> Again with the cross posting? Yeah. I'll catch up with the chapters easily, posting one today, the next tomorrow, etc. until all of them are out. Then will be sporadic updating... Haha I'm bad about that...  
> Anywho, please enjoy


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